Swimming Against the Current

I’ve had a really gnarly couple of days with my eye. I went to cover a conference for work and ended up having an eye infection that hasn’t fully gone away since I’ve returned. Then I got back home and allergies made the eye irritation even worse, so suffice it to say, I’ve been operating at 50% of my eyesight and a lot of pain.

On one level I’m like “yay” because I managed to do a lot of work during that time; I wrote eight articles in two days and edited twice as many articles in that same amount of time. Yet at the same time, the work was hard, I made mistakes and I’m still fighting eye strain and a headache that’s lasted for a week. I am not at my best, physically or emotionally.

I feel like swimming against the current is one of the major changes that has impacted my life post kc-diagnosis. Before, I could push myself physically in the work that I do and for the most part bounce back quickly. I didn’t think much about taking on a lot of work in different levels because even if I was tired, I could manage it all, and now that’s not possible for me.

I think the hardest part of life now is knowing when to swim, figuratively, of course, knowing that the tide is hard pushing against me. I feel like managing my eyesight and what I can do is like another job and takes energy away from what I want to be doing, on a professional or personal level. And I get tired of it, though it’s a necessary evil. I think I’m ready to stop swimming, and by that I mean, make some major efforts to slow down my life and focus on my eye health and hopeful recovery but I hope the tide will take me to shore, rather than pulling me under.

Photo: Flickr/krgjumper

One response to “Swimming Against the Current”

  1. Hope you get better soon.

    Maybe use some rest and in that time try doing some introspection, try to see things from a different angle then the one your so used to, try swimming against the narrative, your(and the now accepted) narrative.

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