So I’m back from my travels, still recovering from switching time zones and settling back into Chicago life. I’ve been really emotional for the past couple of days, partially being emo about the end of three weeks of fun, but also out of gratitude for everything I’ve experienced. Here it all is in a Tweetstorm I did last night.
I feel so fortunate to have had the fun of the past 3 weeks. i honestly have felt stuck by my visual impairment for a couple of years now,
— Keidra (@kdc) March 21, 2017
I’ve been honestly scared of doing riskier things or thinking about big, bold plans on any level, just treading water.
— Keidra (@kdc) March 21, 2017
and I am still scared but I am ready to feel bold again. like actually feel like i can do things, not just get by.
— Keidra (@kdc) March 21, 2017
people don’t see it because i am a go-getter and i am sassy online, but I feel like I have lost so much in the past few years.
— Keidra (@kdc) March 21, 2017
and it is hard and still scary, but honestly just feeling like my future can be more than just getting by is HUGE.
— Keidra (@kdc) March 21, 2017
So, I don’t know who this thread is for, but I hope for that kind of feeling, of possibility, for people who think that it is lost to them.
— Keidra (@kdc) March 21, 2017
So yeah, I feel a new sense of focus and control in a way that is often hard for me. Those of you with KC can probably understand how the lack of control over your own vision can throw you off of your axis. At it worst, it makes me feel weak, it makes me feel stupid in front of people, and like nothing is really under my control. So feeling a sense of empowerment, that I can do things, is really … new and good. I really do hope for that feeling for my KC family, and anyone with a chronic/degenerative illness.
So, since I’ve been doing these diaries, I do get questions and requests for advice from other KC fam. And it’s weird because my initial reaction is “Man, i dunno what the hell I’m doing, don’t ask me anything! I am barely keeping it together.”
And … I still think that’s true but I also don’t want to come off as being rude or dismissive. I can only share my personal experiences; we are all fumbling blurrily together in the KC world, so I help where I can. I did do a welcome guide for the newly diagnosed here, so please check that out. And if you just want to vent or if you are frustrated and second guessing yourself and want to see if someone else has had a similar experience, please ping me. All this to say though, I’m not a doctor or insurance person, lol. But I’ll help how I can!
Keidra Chaney 
Leave a Reply